Halloween!

This year, like every year, I got really excited about Halloween. I am lucky enough to work with young kids so I can spend a lot of time building up before holidays. Then on the day, I can go all out and do all of the fun and goofy things that are included in the celebration. I am also lucky enough to be unmarried and child-free so I can go out and party all night after that.

About a month before Halloween, Takeshi and I were searching for our costumes. I think it is the first time I have ever had a serious boyfriend on this day so I thought that I definitely wanted to do a "couples" costume. We thought about being occupational things like a policeman and policewoman, or super heroes like Batman and Catwoman. But we ended up going an ethnic direction and being Zorro and a Spanish Dancer. (Since I am actually Spanish its not racist...right?) But we were still super excited for the costumes to arrive. My mom even sent me some castanets that really just sent the whole ensemble over the top. Awesome!

I tried on my costume about 3 times before the actual day. ;)

For school I wanted a more comfortable option so I got a Japanese Kindergarten student costume. Its really corny. (I will add a pic tomorrow.)

The party with the kids was fun like always. We went trick or treating, sang songs, had lunch, and played some games together. At the end of the day my friend/coworker and I went to a street festival with a student and trick-or-treated at all of the shops.

After work I went to a huge nightclub with some friends and my coworker. The club is really huge and they throw a big Halloween party every year. We had a great night and I danced as long as my feet could handle it. It was quite interesting not being single, but going out without my boyfriend. Not being single was awesome. I never felt self conscious or like I should try to look cute. I was just myself and laughed and danced around like a big goof. I met some interesting people and had some great conversations. Sometimes if a guy asked for my number I just had to be blunt (but trying not be mean) said, "We can be friends. But I have a boyfriend." I think it worked out fine. Some guys took it well and still talked to me and had fun. Others said bye and went to chat up one of the sexy maids. ha ha.

The next night I went out to a smaller party at a nightclub in Tokyo in the Roppongi area. The streets were really packed with people and seriously, for me, watching all of the costumes there was the best part of the night. I was joined by my boyfriend, my housemate and his friend from Uni, my good friend Seiko and some of her gal pals, as well as my friend Tanya and her boyfriend. Then at the party I also met up with some friends I made on a spring trip to Niigata island, my other coworker, and my boyfriends school mates. It was so fun. There was always someone to talk to or dance with or go get a drink with. ;)

We had a really fun time. My feet may never forgive me, but perhaps in time they will forget.

What I learned from TV

If you know me, you know that I love reality TV. Some of my favorites are American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Hells Kitchen, The Amazing Race...I could go on. When the old trashier shows like Temptation Island and Anna Nichole's show were on, you can bet I was watching.

A lot of times when I am watching these shows I put myself in the shoes of the competitors and try to imagine how I would do if I had to do one of these challenges. I really get into this mindset on the Amazing Race. I have been watching a few seasons now and I think I know the best formula to be a winning team or at least get into the final leg of the race.

The teams that always do best in the race are teams that have these qualities:
- Positive thinkers. They do not react emotionally to the hurdles. They encourage one another all through out the race. They build each other up and do not tear each other down.
- Athletes. Obviously there are a lot of physical challenges.
- People without phobias. I have seen people just flip out over swimming in a pool, taking an elevator, or decending off a high building. Those people do not last.
- People who are outgoing and friendly. These people ask locals for help and get it. They are cheerful and make others gravitate towards them and want to help them. Others who just scream on the streets, "Why isn't anyone helping me?!" don't do so well.
- Teams that have strong relationships with good balances of power. There cannot be just one person making all of the decisions. It needs to be a combined effort. Both members have to be self confident enough to add their ideas but also open to listen to the other member's thoughts.

Recently, I have noticed how many couples use the race as a test of their relationship. They want to see if their relationship is strong enough to last a lifetime and they will first see if it lasts the duration of their time on the race. They say stuff like "This will make or break us."

So of course, I am thinking of my relationship with Takeshi. I wonder how we as a couple would do on the race. Well, in reality we would be eliminated in the first leg because I can barely run without tripping over my own feet and Takeshi takes about 5 minutes to put on his shoes. We are not speedy. BUT put that aside and think about our relationship and how we are at making decisions and working together...under pressure.

Which leads me to my story:
Takeshi and I were coming back to my apartment after doing some grocery shopping. Both of us were carrying heavy bags. I turned the key in the lock and hit the light switch by the door. AAHHH!!! There was a monster size cockroach on the floor. I just shrieked and Takeshi jumped like a foot off of the ground. And we closed the door and stood in the hall. I was thinking "KILL IT NOW!" and took Takeshi's bags from him and pushed him into the entry as the door shut behind him. I shouted at him through the door directions where my roach spray is located and told him "Hurry! Get it!" As previously stated, my boyfriend is not a speedy man. And as I LATER learned he is just as terrified of roaches as I am. So he was freaking out and I was shouting and him but too scared to help. Finally he came out and said, "I lost it. It got away." And in my mania I shouted "You have to get it! It will crawl in your ears!" and sent him back inside. He moved nearly everything out of my closet searching for the beast. Finally, I came in and said, "Here let me do it." I took the spray can from him and flinchingly moved stuff around and peeked under boxes, suitcases, and paper bags. Nothing.

So then we had this awkward situation where I was mad at him for not getting it faster. He was freaked out and probably mad at me for shouting at him and giving him a new phobia of ear dwelling insects. And we had to...put the groceries away.

I am quite ashamed at how my ugly true colors showed during this situation. If it was a leg of the Amazing Race, we would have been eliminated. The other day we were talking about dreams and I asked Takeshi, "Do you remember what you dreamed last night?" He said, "Not really...but it was something about a cockroach."

I am handicapped

So today I took off of work early to go to my local ward office. Last month I applied for handicap status after my doctor told me...I could. My documents were ready today for me to go pick them up and get oriented on what my new status means.

Takeshi came with me to help translate and also because he is sweet and helpful. I had some pretty heavy feelings before this though. I mean, yeah I have this heart trouble but there are people much worse off than me and maybe THEY should be getting these sort of benefits. I just had a lot of guilt. I tried to remind myself of how many thousands of dollars I have spent over the past few years on doctor's visits, medications, surgeries, time off of work, etc... That made me feel better about accepting this.

The woman at the counter insisted on speaking very loud and slow Japanese to me. It was nice that she was trying to be understood, but it also made me wonder if she thought that I was perhaps mentally handicapped. However, she was still very nice and went out of her way to make things clear and easy for me.

I learned that I have a TON of discounts that I am now eligible for. Seriously. Here are a few:
- 1/2 price train fare
- reduced medical fees
- reduced taxes
- reduced public utilities fees
- 72 free short taxi rides per year (if long rides they are at 10% discount)
- reduced mobile phone fees
- once a year the local and prefecture's governments will send me a check for around $200 each!
...the list goes on.

I am kind of shocked. Its pretty substantial. Also, Takeshi can get 1/2 price train fare when he is with me. He is pretty stoked about this. (For those non-public transport users, imagine that all the money you spend on your car for one month is cut in half.)

After this we went out to dinner and Takeshi said, "Do you want to take a taxi home?" I said, "No. Wait until a day when I am wearing heels."

It's a start...

So I am really really really sorry to be so out of touch for well, nearly a year. It has been such a crazy life changing few months and I think that I will regret not having recorded it. So now I am going to try and catch up and move on at the same time.

I am still amazed that my friends and family became such loyal readers and contributors to my last blog. It was quite an amazing experience coming to Japan and living my life here for these past years. I went through every brand of culture shock and came out learning a lot about myself. Imagine my amazement to discover that this same (almost) exact experience had been already documented by countless others. Seriously. Just google "teaching in Japan" or something like that and you will find so many strikingly similar blogs. So I was a little disheartened. I thought that maybe I ought to try and give my blog a special twist or something. The only problem is...I am not sure what that could be (throat clearing.) So I will just try to write what I am feeling and see what develops. Wasn't it Judy Garland who said that its better to be a first rate version of yourself rather than a second rate version of somebody else?

So, now for the truth. Perhaps the biggest development that has happened in my life has been my relationship with (should I use his name???) Let's say T. Oh forget it I am going to use his name its a pretty common one and I don't think that anyone will steal his identity. ha ha. It's Takeshi. Basically, I met him and my world really changed. I don't really believe in this stuff but my friend Rie read my palm before meeting him and gave me a sort of bleak future. Then after I met him she read it again and was so shocked. I hadn't told her about him yet but she said that my palm had actually changed and she wanted to know why. She said that she had never seen anything like it and wondered if I did a good deed like cleaning graves or something. (I guess that is a good deed here.)

When we first started dating I was quite amazed by him and felt like I was waiting for "the catch." I thought he was too good to be true and there must be some big lie he was hiding or some how he would figure out that I wasn't in his league and drop me. So I was trying to be so careful. I didn't want to write about our relationship because we were still figuring things out and I wanted to keep it special and not be so "gossipy" about it. Also no one wants to hear "Guess what cute thing my boyfriend did today" stories. Also I think no one wants to witness how I over analyze every email from him to try and guess his underlying message. So we needed time to grow and I wasn't ready to write about it yet. But now...

Now we have been together for 10 months and things are great. I have changed. It is quite a thing to let someone really know you who isn't your childhood friend or your family. I think that all of my other adult relationships have lacked some ugly truths that cannot be hidden in a real intimate relationship like I have with him. He really knows me and even calls me out on my...imperfections. (I know shocking. I actually have a few.) So I want to tell you know about where my life is and where it is going. I will try to keep it interesting and fun to read. But my main goal has changed and now I just want to keep in touch in with the people I well...am not in touch with because of geography and whatever other reasons.

Takeshi hasn't been the only big change though he is the main one. My career and life goals are changing a lot from my job as a preschool teacher. I have come to learn about the true rewards of positive thinking. I am no expert at it, but I am doing my best. Working for my company and with the type of coworkers I have has been such a blessing. I seriously have an opportunity to grow in a totally new way than I have ever been afforded before. I now realize what things are important to me and how I want to live my life. I know myself much better now and I don't need to feel any worry about what I am doing or what I am going to do career-wise. I know exactly what my final goal is and the path I want to take to get there. (More on this later.)

Thank you for being patient with me and for coming back for a second round. Let's have fun.